Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Star Student (I knew this day would come)

I just received an e-mail from Noah's teacher that Noah will be star student next week. The star student has a board in the classroom where all sorts of information about them are posted. There are also pictures about their life: the family vacation last summer, learning to ride a tricycle, baby pictures, etc. Every time I look at these boards I feel a lump in the pit of my stomach. I knew that this day would come and I would have to make a decision. I have numerous baby pictures of Noah, many of which I cherish, but none of them look like normal baby pictures. I have a pictures of Noah coming home from the hospital: all 3 times. I have a picture of his first extubation and the day that they put two IVs in his head and he looked like he had horns. I have a picture of him propped next to his pulse ox the first time he satted 100 without O2 and pictures of him covered in tape from the times where he had to have O2, hearing aids, and eye patches all at the same time. These are all fond, happy memories, but I'm not sure I'm ready to share any of that with Noah's kindergarten class. They're my special memories and I don't think the teachers and parents would understand why they're so special. At least I have until Monday to decide.


abby said...

We have one of Hallie giving her nurses 'the finger' (one of the nurses pointed it out to us and had us take a picture) that has to be my all-time favorite NICU picture (well, second to the first time Sharon and I held her). I guess that one would be inappropriate for kindergarten on two counts, huh?

Anyway, good luck with this. It's a hard one. Hallie has just started to inquire about some of the pictures of her that we have around the house where she's wearing oxygen cannula etc and it's hard to know what to say to her, let alone her peers.

xraevision said...

We have SO many similar photos from our long stay at the hospital. The earliest NICU photos of X would be shocking for outside viewers. Sometimes we are surprised by how tiny and fragile and alien he was. As the months passed and he had fewer tubes and more fat, I successfully captured more "normal" moments, which now make us laugh.

Perhaps you could find something in between. No one will ever understand the full story, not even close, but I think it's important for the people surrounding Noah every day, even his young peers, to appreciate the great lengths you've all made in getting him to where he is now. Star student! I like that!