Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Scars

Today Noah noticed one of his scars and asked about it.
Most of Noah's scars don't bother me. The little white spots on his hands, feet, ankles and arms are a reminder of how hard he fought and how much he made it through. But then there's the red scar on his one cheek not really noticeable to anyone but me from when he coded the first time and in their rush to extubate they ripped all the skin off his cheek. I don't like that one. The scar he asked about today is large and I remember the look of pain on his face when I came in for a visit to find that his IV had given out and medication was burning a hole in his arm without the nurse noticing. I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about it.
Noah will hopefully ignore his scars the way I ignore my birth marks. I forget they're there until someone asks about them. Maybe as a little boy he'll be proud to have more scars than all his friends? Who knows. Thankfully he doesn't have to carry the memories of how he got them. He doesn't remember the painful experiences, even if he's still daily affected by them.

4 comments:

Lissa said...

I have many scars, on my hands, chest, feet and wrists. They do not bother me since I know what I went though. Hope they do not bother noah as he grows, I am sure he will understand why they are there and be proud of what he went through. After all it is something to show his friends :)

melissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leah said...

I am sure Noah will soon regard his scars in the same way you regard your birthmarks, and it will become very matter-of-fact. I think the deepest scars are the ones on your heart- from watching your precious baby go through such terrifying times, and those scars are the hardest ones to bear.

Noah is one tough little cookie- and a huge miracle, too.

Anthony and Ashleys Mommy said...

I hope like you that being a boy he will think of them as war wounds and be proud of them in a way.

Anthony has a long scar on his back from his PDA surgery, a scar on the side of his chest from a chest tube, and he's got some on his heels.

Also a curious question from one preemie mom to another. Does Noah have a super small belly button? Anthony's is so tiny! His 4 month old sister has a bigger belly button then he does. I was wondering if this is because his umbilical cord was so thin when he was born.

Kim