I've started making nasty comments about women and their cute little take home babies.*
I keep pulling out all the NICU pictures and:
- falling in love all over again
- marveling that the OG tube was so close to the size of his fingers and the leads covered almost his whole chest
- crying
I alternate between telling myself that it wasn't that bad/was worth it and wondering what I did to deserve the hell that we've been through.
Has it really been almost three years?
* To all of my friends who have recently had full term babies or are planning on it in the next month I promise to be happy for you starting sometime in June.
2 comments:
Awww. You're right. It sucks and I get it. But as much as it sucks, it helps to know I am not alone.
I love your comment to your friends about being happy for them in June.
They say that time heals all wounds... I think its just time taking away bits of your memories. I think it leaves something permanent. I don't need to pull out pictures to cry anymore - I just have to think about doing it all over again...
Even now I find myself hiding the fact that I'm pregnant because I don't want to explain to people what happened when I don't get huge and am suddenly not pregnant anymore. Morbid huh?
I can't even get happy for myself let alone anyone else lately, so I pseudo share your feelings.
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