Monday, April 21, 2008

I know it must be almost May because...

I've started making nasty comments about women and their cute little take home babies.*

I keep pulling out all the NICU pictures and:

  1. falling in love all over again
  2. marveling that the OG tube was so close to the size of his fingers and the leads covered almost his whole chest
  3. crying

I alternate between telling myself that it wasn't that bad/was worth it and wondering what I did to deserve the hell that we've been through.

Has it really been almost three years?

* To all of my friends who have recently had full term babies or are planning on it in the next month I promise to be happy for you starting sometime in June.


Billie said...

Awww. You're right. It sucks and I get it. But as much as it sucks, it helps to know I am not alone.

I love your comment to your friends about being happy for them in June.

Jennifer said...

They say that time heals all wounds... I think its just time taking away bits of your memories. I think it leaves something permanent. I don't need to pull out pictures to cry anymore - I just have to think about doing it all over again...

Even now I find myself hiding the fact that I'm pregnant because I don't want to explain to people what happened when I don't get huge and am suddenly not pregnant anymore. Morbid huh?

I can't even get happy for myself let alone anyone else lately, so I pseudo share your feelings.