Monday, October 1, 2007

Delayed

Sometimes it's easy to forget that Noah is delayed in his gross motor skills and sometimes it's not so easy at all. Noah has always been delayed but when he started walking at 22 months it became a lot less noticable. Noah can walk; Noah's friends can walk. He must be caught up, right?
Today was our church picnic. Church picnics are great obstacle courses for toddlers. Take a bunch of people and put them on an uneven surface covered with rocks, roots, and leaves. Add obstacles like lawn chairs, coolers, and half full cups of lemonade and set the toddlers loose. I was pleased to notice that Noah was able to walk in the midst of all of this (without falling!). We've really been working on walking in uneven surfaces and avoiding obstacles in OT and if this was a final exam Noah definitely got an A in that area. But then I started to notice other things. I started noticing the 18 month olds who could run across the gravel and roots - all Noah could muster was a drunken walk. I notice the little guy that had just turned one walking up and down the steps into the picnic shelter with only one hand held. Noah can barely manage going up that way, and when going down he needs someone to hold both his hands and another person to guide his hips. I saw the little girl only a few month older than Noah eating an entire chicken drumstick (the one year old had one too, but his dad had to pull off small pieces of chicken). I would be happy to dissect the drumstick if Noah would eat it. He had pureed peaches and pears for lunch, which we fed him before we arrived so that our friends wouldn't be disturbed by the wretching and vomiting. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for the progress that Noah has made. We were told in the NICU to expect a chronic vegetative state, so I can't help but be amazed by him. I manage to avoid thinking about where he should be most of the time, but sometimes it's just there. Sometimes you can't help but noticing.

5 comments:

The Walsh's said...

I know exactly what you mean. People say ALL the time - Be thankful. Things could be worse. It's so true, but why can't we have moments of griping and complaining about the position we're in and our kid is in? That should be okay - and it is in my book, so feel free to vent about it to me ANY time. Noah is doing great and we all know you're thankful for his progress, but you're allowed to hope for the best. We all are. Keep doing a great job with him. You're a GREAT Mom!

Hetha said...

Emily,

I think it's great that you're so honest about it, because no matter how far he has come or how grateful you feel, you can't help but notice the differences sometimes. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful, it means you're human.

I see the same differences with Ethan, he also didn't walk until 22 months, and now at 25 months he still has lots of gross motor troubles as well.

23wktwins'mommy said...

It's tough that we always have to explain ourselves and remind everyone that we are thankful for our children whenever we want to address something concerning or something we wish were different. If I could change things, I would have S&E be born at term. I hate to see them have difficulty breathing. I hate that a cold puts us in the PICU. Saying that does not mean I am not thankful for my children surviving. If we had to do it over again we would still chose to save our little ones, but like you say on your blog, it's not like we would have chosen this life if given the choice. We would have wanted our children to be healthy and not struggle to do things other people take for granted...say like eating without issue. There is nothing wrong with that. We all know you love Noah no matter what!

Billie said...

Holland is the same way in terms of gross motor development. Because Eden's CP is so much more severe, I almost forget to worry about Holland. When I see her around other kids her age, and even much younger, I am reminded how delayed she really is. At 3 she still has balance issues, falls more than other kids, and has a pretty odd gait. I am so used to it, I don't see it as odd, but I bet it looks odd to other people!

baby james said...

I agree with you, I always compare James with other full term kids his age and younger, well lets say I have eased down quite a bit since the begging of time. But I still find myself doing this quite often. Then I will start to get a little bummed, but then I say you know My James has been through more than most people have in a life time and he survived. He has come a long way in a short time and is a unique little boy. I also realize that the other mommy's and daddy's take alot of things their children do for granted where us preemie parents just beem with joy at everything our miracles do in amazement,and it his who we are. Full Term is for whimps as another preemie mom puts it!!! Good work Noah! Love Tracy