One in a Million

I used to think I had bad luck. Over time I've just realized that I had "rare luck". If I had a dime for every time someone said to me "that just doesn't happen" I'd be rich. Today our audiologist said that to me while attempting to trouble shoot our 2 day old $7000 cochlear implant processor that wouldn't turn on. He kept asking us about "significant electrical events". That is, "Did Noah get struck by lightning and you forgot to mention it?". When he finally fixed the problem he said "I don't get it, that just doesn't happen." Yeah, maybe not to you buddy. But if it doesn't happen to anybody else, it's bound to happen to me. Here are some more "It just doesn't happen" experiences.

Oral surgeon: "Don't worry, wisdom teeth extraction is a very safe surgery. Those scary complications are one in a million chances." (Yeah. That's why I ate pureed foods for 6 months and still can't feel the tip of my tongue 10 years later.)

State Police Officer: "Wow, you mean the engine just exploded? Like with fire and everything?" (Yep. Fire and everything.)

Car insurance agent: "A tree? On your car? That doesn't happen in real life." (No? Then what's that big wooden thing on top of my car?)

IV nurse: "We're sending your blood to the Mayo Clinic. They want to study it because HELLP doesn't happen this early in pregnancy." (Good. Tell my liver to start working again so I can go back to being as healthy pregnant woman.)

Neonatologist: "Babies just don't survive this kind of thing." (Ummm... Sorry.)

Doctor: "What are the chances that he would have a severely disabling birth defect on top of the effects of the prematurity?" (Hmmm... Apparently 100% in this case.)

Yeah, so stuff happens to me. Overall with having a 24 weeker I'd say going against the odds is a good thing. Just don't stand too close to me in a lightning storm.